Some times it also occurs to me what if I had only three years to live ? Would I live like what I am living now ?

I would say the answer will be absolutely not.

For 2 years or more, I have been pushing myself so hard to try with this, well, the result cannot be worse, I admit it.

I have to confess this time long is anything but a pleasant one. I endured pain and I healed from it and I suffered another pain.

On and on...

Still I have to say giving up is not an easy thing for me, just like surrender in the battlefield once you believed to triumph.

I got no sufficent talent nor enough time, perhaps that‘t not suitable for me, anyway.

Of course, I have to move on.

And, whatever, this miserable experience had brought me benefits and skills, I cannot deny that.

I have to go on.

Done with acm